I wonder if anyone noticed. I didn't notice until later on. My last blog entry was the first one not to mention Cancer. I think there were a few where I didn't write about my own illness but only because I was concentrating on Dad's. Well I'm afraid this one will, but only a bit.
The girls were meant to return to school on 3rd September. The eldest was just about well enough, although skinny and pale. The holiday had done her good, lots of fresh air, good food and fun. The younger one, however, wasn't well enough. Her temperature had gone up and we recognised the same symptoms the other one had suffered four weeks before.
I took her to the GP and after a week and several further visits, she got her chest Xray. They were more shocked than I was to find that she had pneumonia. We spent a couple of days in and out of Lewisham Hospital, a bit of a logistical nightmare while my Husband was working in Spain and then America. On the third day after she was diagnosed her joints started to swell up. Knees, hands, feet. Back in we went. We spent a whole night having tests, every test under the sun, to make sure they hadn't missed anything. Her blood test for glandular fever came back positive and her joint pain was attributed to Reactive Arthritis.
The Glandular fever diagnosis actually answered some of my questions. The paediatrician suggested that if Daughter number one had had it first, it would explain where both sets of pneumonia had come from. Another week's plans were cancelled.
Eventually she was well enough to return to school, although even now, in October, neither girl is 100% recovered.
On Wednesday 17th September I found a small lump on the edge of my right breast. It was just under the skin and next to the edge of the implant. It was sore and hot and a little red. I emailed my Breast Care Nurse. I didn't email my surgeon having got into trouble with him before. I had emailed a picture of the swelling under one breast thinking that it was a very clever way of explaining the problem. Apparently he opened his email while in a meeting and up popped a picture of my tit! Ooops.
My Breast Care Nurse finally got back to me with an appointment for a scan on the Monday. I appreciate that this is extremely quick and am in no way complaining, but it meant waiting the weekend before finding out what it was. As I have said before, I am inpatient. But it's not just that, the worry is very real. If I am diagnosed with secondary cancer, it will be considered to be terminal. I, of course, wouldn't take much notice of that and would hope to fight. These are the sort of thoughts that I can normally keep at bay but waiting for a scan on a lump can sure bring them to the surface.
That weekend I had the best distraction. Fifteen of us local Mums had rented a big house in Sussex for a weekend of fun, frolics and hilarity. There was an indoor pool, hot tub, dance floor (actually was the sitting room floor but made of wood and a huge room), pool table, tennis court, ping pong and masses of prosecco!
As I've mentioned before, I am trying to eliminate alcohol from my diet completely. It messes with your hormones which is something I cannot risk. But, I am only human and occasionally I break my own resolve. I broke it that weekend. It was great fun, so lovely to see my friend's personalities flourish in a new environment and not having to behave in front of our children! It was very annoying though, to have the nagging worry in the back of my mind.
Monday came and I went in for my scan. I spoke to my surgeon first and then had another appointment with him straight afterwards. My scan was clear. Both implants are fully intact and where they should be. The lump is a swollen internal stitch where the muscle joins onto the mesh hammock that holds the implant in place.
I left the hospital on my own and had to sit for a while in the park nearby. I choked back the tears as I let myself feel the relief wash over me. The alternative result is just too awful to imagine.
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