Fifty Five

Friday, 26 April 2013

On Friday 19th April I had to go and get my results from the pathologists report on the lymph nodes that had been removed. I had been given a clue on the Wednesday that they were clear so I was spared a hellish morning. The scar under my arm was swollen and getting quite uncomfortable. The bigger the swelling gets the harder it is to put my arm down to my side.

My Husband came with me. He has been coming less and less, partly due to him picking up more work now he is able and partly due to the normalcy of hospital visits. I spend so much of my time at Guys Hospital now that it almost feels like my work place. He hasn't had a meeting with my surgeon and breast care nurse for quite some time and was amused by the familiarity we have now. about ten percent of the consultation was spent discussing my breast and the other ninety spend discussing everything from world class seminars in America on breast reconstruction to restaurants in Paris.

I was given my results. A total of twelve lymph nodes have been removed form my left armpit. The first three contained small tumours but the further nine have been clear. This is wonderful news. The Cancer is very unlikely to have spread, even in a tiny form, to the rest of my body. It would normally spread through the lymphatic system. It can also spread through the blood but mine was clear when they checked in September.

Then we all trooped into the examination room so the surgeon could check my scar. They removed the dressing and trimmed the stitches then they decided to drain the area as the swelling looked like a seroma, a collection of fluid under the scar. While the surgeon stuck two needles into my armpit my breast care nurse distracted me by asking about good restaurants in Paris. The team are planning a bonding trip.

The most worrying thing for me was that I didn't feel any of it. My body knew something was up. I poured clear sweat from my right armpit which ran down my side and dripped from my elbow and I felt a little woozy but I couldn't actually feel anything the surgeon was doing.

This numbness has been bothering me. It's quite a large area in which to have an absolute loss of sensation. More annoying still is the hypersensitivity down the back of my arm. It has spread a little onto my back, just outside the numbness from my armpit. If anything brushes my skin in those areas it still feels like I am being grated. Even the softest clothes are like sandpaper and the constant pain is reeking havoc with my sense of humour. There is no way of telling how long this will last. The nerve had to be cut in order to reach all the lymph nodes. It is unlikely to regenerate but hopefully the hypersensitivity will calm in time.

After the wound had been drained and I was dressed again we returned to the surgeons desk and he asked me if I would attend a seminar where he would be presenting a paper on immediate reconstruction using implants. I would be there to answer questions from a patients point of view. I felt my stomach drop through the floor at the thought of speaking to a room full of people but promised to think about it.

On Saturday the sun came out. We popped over the field to meet an old school friend and her horse then the girls and I set off on an adventure while Husband put in some hill training on his bike.

The sunshine makes everything better. We walked, with our stick spears, across the fields. Stopping to paddle in the stream and sunbathe on a fallen tree. The girls picked flowers for their hair and rode their imaginary horses through the woods. We stopped and played for ages where a tiny spring of water comes up from the ground, we made rivers and pools and bridges with the heels of our welly boots in the drying out mud.

On Sunday we went to the Globe on the Southbank to wish a very happy birthday to a lovely friend of ours who shares hers with William Shakespeare himself.