Friday, 14 September 2012
Today was a real bad news / good news
day.
Friday 14th September. Mother-in-law collected the children to take them to school - This is why we moved to Kent. I prepared myself for my first outing in days. Hair (yup you guessed it) in a pony tail. make-up and my drain hidden under my new coat. We drove to Paddock Wood to get the train. Newly-passed Husband drove, I'm not allowed to for at least 6 weeks. I love driving.
The train was really fun. I felt like I was on a fabulous day trip. Husband took a work call and I started out of the window firstly at the beautiful countryside, then at even more beautiful London. We arrived at London Bridge and both immediately felt at home.
The Breast Clinic at Guys was running 60 minutes late so we went for a potter around Borough Market. I let husband into my dirty secret and told him how much I had been missing London. He felt the same and we were both truly surprised by how much we love the place.
It was waiting time well spent and we got back in plenty of time for the appointment. Luckily the consultant waited until we sat down before he started talking. The full pathologists report will be sent in the post but he could tell us the following.
The Invasive (with potential to spread to the rest of the body) tumour had actually been 5.2cm, nearly 1cm bigger than we thought. Then he dropped a bit of a bomb shell and told us that they had also removed another 4+cm of non-invasive Cancer in-situ which is basically another cancer. It was surrounding the Invasive tumour making the whole tumour over 9cm. This surrounding cancer was not the sort of cancer that can spread beyond the breast. While it was an enormous shock to find it had been there at all, it has now gone. He is very confident that all the cancer in the breast has been fully removed with the mastectomy.
He then went on to tell us that 3 of the 6 removed lymph nodes had Cancer - the bugger was spreading. This hadn't showed up on any of the scans and because it is so small they will have to remove all the lymph nodes under my left armpit. This will reduce the risk of a 'time bomb' for the future but will obviously heighten my risk of Lymphodema (which I explained before). They will wait until after my Chemo before further surgery and will decide on radiotherapy then too.
Then came the really fun bit. Suddenly the bane of my life became my best friend as I tried to persuade the nurse that maybe the drain didn't really need to be removed after all. I took off all my top-half clothes (I have to do this a lot these days) and sat with Husband holding onto me while the nurse cut the stitches holding it in place and then gave the drain tube an almighty tug. She had asked me to take deep breaths but nothing can prepare you for that horrendous feeling. I won't go on about it.
When we left the Breast clinic we slowly made our way up to the genetics department. I had another two cases of Breast Cancer to add to the long line linking it's way down my Father's family tree.
We decided to go out for lunch to celebrate the shitty news and went to More London for Dim sum.
The girls were thrilled to have me waiting at school when they came out. No drain, no tracksuit and some make-up. An Ice cream on the green followed by a proper family supper. Heaven.
At 6.30pm Daughter 1 was dropped off at her first proper disco birthday party. All maxi-dress, mascara and butterflies. At 8.30pm she returned. Hyper, sweaty and manic. A quick face wash and a cuddle and she want to bed. Happy, sleepy and settled.
Friday 14th September. Mother-in-law collected the children to take them to school - This is why we moved to Kent. I prepared myself for my first outing in days. Hair (yup you guessed it) in a pony tail. make-up and my drain hidden under my new coat. We drove to Paddock Wood to get the train. Newly-passed Husband drove, I'm not allowed to for at least 6 weeks. I love driving.
The train was really fun. I felt like I was on a fabulous day trip. Husband took a work call and I started out of the window firstly at the beautiful countryside, then at even more beautiful London. We arrived at London Bridge and both immediately felt at home.
The Breast Clinic at Guys was running 60 minutes late so we went for a potter around Borough Market. I let husband into my dirty secret and told him how much I had been missing London. He felt the same and we were both truly surprised by how much we love the place.
It was waiting time well spent and we got back in plenty of time for the appointment. Luckily the consultant waited until we sat down before he started talking. The full pathologists report will be sent in the post but he could tell us the following.
The Invasive (with potential to spread to the rest of the body) tumour had actually been 5.2cm, nearly 1cm bigger than we thought. Then he dropped a bit of a bomb shell and told us that they had also removed another 4+cm of non-invasive Cancer in-situ which is basically another cancer. It was surrounding the Invasive tumour making the whole tumour over 9cm. This surrounding cancer was not the sort of cancer that can spread beyond the breast. While it was an enormous shock to find it had been there at all, it has now gone. He is very confident that all the cancer in the breast has been fully removed with the mastectomy.
He then went on to tell us that 3 of the 6 removed lymph nodes had Cancer - the bugger was spreading. This hadn't showed up on any of the scans and because it is so small they will have to remove all the lymph nodes under my left armpit. This will reduce the risk of a 'time bomb' for the future but will obviously heighten my risk of Lymphodema (which I explained before). They will wait until after my Chemo before further surgery and will decide on radiotherapy then too.
Then came the really fun bit. Suddenly the bane of my life became my best friend as I tried to persuade the nurse that maybe the drain didn't really need to be removed after all. I took off all my top-half clothes (I have to do this a lot these days) and sat with Husband holding onto me while the nurse cut the stitches holding it in place and then gave the drain tube an almighty tug. She had asked me to take deep breaths but nothing can prepare you for that horrendous feeling. I won't go on about it.
When we left the Breast clinic we slowly made our way up to the genetics department. I had another two cases of Breast Cancer to add to the long line linking it's way down my Father's family tree.
We decided to go out for lunch to celebrate the shitty news and went to More London for Dim sum.
The girls were thrilled to have me waiting at school when they came out. No drain, no tracksuit and some make-up. An Ice cream on the green followed by a proper family supper. Heaven.
At 6.30pm Daughter 1 was dropped off at her first proper disco birthday party. All maxi-dress, mascara and butterflies. At 8.30pm she returned. Hyper, sweaty and manic. A quick face wash and a cuddle and she want to bed. Happy, sleepy and settled.
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