Thursday, 27 September 2012
So, yesterday started with the
obligatory pre-hospital appointment freak out from me. I don't know
why this happens. When I'm there I feel comfortable, safe and well
informed. I think it's because on a 'normal' day to day basis I can
carry on in a happy state of semi denial (obviously the constant pain
in my left breast is a small reminder). The act of having to go to
hospital makes it all frighteningly sharp edgedly real. Having told
Husband to go away (again rather less politely) this time on Paddock
Wood station platform a very nice man offered to buy me a cup of tea.
I politely (actually politely) declined and was touched deeply by the
gesture. Considering I must have been a scary sight, covered in snot
and wet make up and recently screaming like a banshee I think he was
very brave. Husband and I managed to get on the same train and
started our journey to Guys for my Oncology appointment.
The journey was further slightly delayed by our both having run out of credit on our oyster cards. We seem to have never been able to shake the need to bunk the train from Kent to London. A hangover from times when we needed to save our pennies for more debaucherous antics on arrival. Never together back then but another reason we are so perfectly matched! We got caught at the gates and fined £20 each. The inspector clearly couldn't believe his luck and obviously thought there had been some mistake as he ended up dropping one fine and only charging us £20 between us - less than the price of the ticket! On the way home I made a point of going to the ticket office and actually asking how much the journey costs at different times of the day and found out about discount cards. Finally growing up.
The waiting room for the oncology department is very large. There is no doubt that every other person in there is either suffering from cancer or has a loved one who is but the mood is cheerful, happy and friendly. There is a free tea and coffee machine and lots of very useful reading material supplied by Macmillan (if you are lucky enough to be invited to a Macmillan coffee morning this week, please give and buy generously). There are also piles of glossy magazines and a book exchange. At the back of the waiting room is the office for the Dimbleby Cancer Care people.
I was called, weighed, measured, examined (breast and stomach) and sat in a consulting room with Husband, Breast Nurse, Student and Oncologist. As you can imagine the chemotherapy sounds pretty dire. I am having a very aggressive course. I am very pleased that they have decided on 6 cycles and not 12 as had been previously discussed. I will have 2 different combinations, each for 3 cycles. Each cycle is 3 weeks. I will have the drugs intravenously through a drip and should be able to go home on the same day. The worst side effect is that my white blood cells will be likely to go as low as zero during the cycle which means I will be exhausted and have no ability whatsoever to fight infections. If my temperature goes above 38 degrees or I feel unwell at all I have to be rushed to hospital. I will have a special card and will have to phone ahead so I am seen immediately on arrival.
Other than that it's all the normal stuff. Fatigue, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, weight gain, hair loss, lack of sex drive, sore arm..I think that pretty much covers it. Most of that is deal-with-able. They can give drugs to control the D &V. I've an appointment to get fitted for my NHS wig. This is something I have never been keen on - I think I'll be more of a scarf wearer but the kids are very keen for me to have a wig so I'll get one. Apparently Trevor Sorbie and other top salons will style your chemo wig for free. I'm also trying to get booked on a cancer make-up course where the ladies from Selfridges teach you how to draw on your eye-brows and look a bit more normal during chemo.
With the second type of chemo (the 4th-6th cycle) I will also be given a drug called Herceptin. This will then continue for 9 months after the chemo. It has similar side effects but not as strong. My hair will start to grow back and some people feel well enough to start working again.
We still don't have dates for my cycles. I will go back next week and sign the consent forms then I will be booked on the first available cycle. During the next two weeks I will have a full CT scan of my organs, a bone scan and a blood scan. I am continuing to book dates in my diary. Knowing that my friends and family understand what's going on and won't mind if I cancel at the last minute is a great comfort to me.
We decided against The Ivy (thank you though to a wonderful friend who offered to book us a table) and opted instead for a sandwich from the hospital shop eaten in the atrium. The shop has wonderful sandwiches and the Atrium hosts free concerts at lunch times. We listened to a young Italian Tenor sing beautiful opera accompanied by grand piano. Until our insurance money finally comes through I think we'll get to enjoy some more lovely free music!
The journey was further slightly delayed by our both having run out of credit on our oyster cards. We seem to have never been able to shake the need to bunk the train from Kent to London. A hangover from times when we needed to save our pennies for more debaucherous antics on arrival. Never together back then but another reason we are so perfectly matched! We got caught at the gates and fined £20 each. The inspector clearly couldn't believe his luck and obviously thought there had been some mistake as he ended up dropping one fine and only charging us £20 between us - less than the price of the ticket! On the way home I made a point of going to the ticket office and actually asking how much the journey costs at different times of the day and found out about discount cards. Finally growing up.
The waiting room for the oncology department is very large. There is no doubt that every other person in there is either suffering from cancer or has a loved one who is but the mood is cheerful, happy and friendly. There is a free tea and coffee machine and lots of very useful reading material supplied by Macmillan (if you are lucky enough to be invited to a Macmillan coffee morning this week, please give and buy generously). There are also piles of glossy magazines and a book exchange. At the back of the waiting room is the office for the Dimbleby Cancer Care people.
I was called, weighed, measured, examined (breast and stomach) and sat in a consulting room with Husband, Breast Nurse, Student and Oncologist. As you can imagine the chemotherapy sounds pretty dire. I am having a very aggressive course. I am very pleased that they have decided on 6 cycles and not 12 as had been previously discussed. I will have 2 different combinations, each for 3 cycles. Each cycle is 3 weeks. I will have the drugs intravenously through a drip and should be able to go home on the same day. The worst side effect is that my white blood cells will be likely to go as low as zero during the cycle which means I will be exhausted and have no ability whatsoever to fight infections. If my temperature goes above 38 degrees or I feel unwell at all I have to be rushed to hospital. I will have a special card and will have to phone ahead so I am seen immediately on arrival.
Other than that it's all the normal stuff. Fatigue, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, weight gain, hair loss, lack of sex drive, sore arm..I think that pretty much covers it. Most of that is deal-with-able. They can give drugs to control the D &V. I've an appointment to get fitted for my NHS wig. This is something I have never been keen on - I think I'll be more of a scarf wearer but the kids are very keen for me to have a wig so I'll get one. Apparently Trevor Sorbie and other top salons will style your chemo wig for free. I'm also trying to get booked on a cancer make-up course where the ladies from Selfridges teach you how to draw on your eye-brows and look a bit more normal during chemo.
With the second type of chemo (the 4th-6th cycle) I will also be given a drug called Herceptin. This will then continue for 9 months after the chemo. It has similar side effects but not as strong. My hair will start to grow back and some people feel well enough to start working again.
We still don't have dates for my cycles. I will go back next week and sign the consent forms then I will be booked on the first available cycle. During the next two weeks I will have a full CT scan of my organs, a bone scan and a blood scan. I am continuing to book dates in my diary. Knowing that my friends and family understand what's going on and won't mind if I cancel at the last minute is a great comfort to me.
We decided against The Ivy (thank you though to a wonderful friend who offered to book us a table) and opted instead for a sandwich from the hospital shop eaten in the atrium. The shop has wonderful sandwiches and the Atrium hosts free concerts at lunch times. We listened to a young Italian Tenor sing beautiful opera accompanied by grand piano. Until our insurance money finally comes through I think we'll get to enjoy some more lovely free music!
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