Thirty Seven

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Husband and and I set off this morning in the snow for paddock wood. We had to get the early train up to guys for my consultation with the oncologists and to have my bloods taken. The trains were all delayed due to the 1mm of snow and we ended up arriving at the hospital over 2 hours late. 

We saw a different lady who was very sweet. She was slightly concerned by my runny nose but other than that pleased that I was feeling well. I was completely taken aback by my own emotional response to her wanting to talk about the side effects of the chemotherapy which was obviously why I was there but it's so hard to discuss and brought me to tears. She examined me thoroughly including a small lump I've found on my left breast, she's fairly sure it's internal scar tissue from the surgery but I've been booked in for an ultrasound on Friday just to make sure. She's also requested another echo heart scan in preparation for the herceptin which I will start taking on my next cycle of chemo. And for the next 12 months.

 I Had the stitches taken out of my portacath incision and the scar across the base of my neck where they had to attach the tube to my artery. I was very brave and hardly flinched. I also had my bloods taken. After waiting for what seemed like hours in the pharmacy for more prescriptions we were free to leave.

Finally we were on the 15.49 from London Bridge heading for home. The girls had been collected from school by our lovely local friend who drops off pasta sauce and collects them in times of need. 

While we were on the train I took a call from our oncologist, she had reviewed the results of my blood tests and was in a tizz about my immune system. My white blood cell count is dangerously low. To start with she asked us to collect a prescription of antibiotics from our doctors surgery which we duly did as soon as we arrived in Paddock Wood. Whilst I was in the chemists collecting the tablets Guys called me again. They have reviewed all my results and decided I am at high risk of life threatening complications, I have had to go to my nearest hospital immediately for intravenous antibiotics. 

So here I am, sat in a private waiting room at The Tunbridge Wells Hospital in Pembury, where my husband and brother were both born, waiting to see a doctor. I'm tired and I want to go home.  My wig is itchy. I Want to hug the girls and climb into my lovely bed to watch a romcom. I'm hungry and was so looking forward to 24hours of chill time before embarking on my third dose of horror. 

Whilst I hate the chemotherapy I'm also very annoyed at the prospect of it being delayed, I just want to get it over with and having it done on a Friday suits the children as they go and spend the weekend with their granny.

I'm typing this on my new iPad which was given to me for exactly these circumstances. The A and E department is extremely busy so we'll be here for hours, perhaps it's time for me to make friends with angry birds!

I've now been sitting in this little room for over two hours waiting to be seen. I've  spoken to my oncologist in London on the phone and she says that I'll need to stay in overnight. They'll take my bloods again tomorrow and if they've returned to a safe level i'll be allowed home, if not i'll have to wait until they do. I've sent husband home for my nightie and face cream and a few other bits and bobs, he'll also pop into the supermarket and get me some ham and a baguettes So I can  have a bed picnic later when I'm settled, little comforts like that make all the difference! 

It is quite astounding how many people have been through or are going through this. I just popped back to reception to see how long it might be from now and forgot that I'd taken my wig off about two hours ago, the receptionist commented that she remembered what a relief it was to take the wig off when she was undergoing chemo three years ago.