Two

Tuesday 11th September 2012

Two (re type)

On July 16th i went to the GP to have a mole on my neck looked at. Daughter 2 said my coco pop had gone crispy and I wanted to make sure it was ok before spending a year in the sun. That morning in the shower I checked my breasts for lumps and found a hard one that I hadn't noticed before. The GP referred me to specialists for both and I confidently continued with all our plans. Having found lumps before which were never a problem I hoped this would be the same.

Less than two weeks later I went to Lewisham Hospital with the kids in tow to have my examination. The Breast Doctor sent me straight to have an ultrasound and from there a mammogram. I hadn't had one of these before and it was much more painful than I had imagined. After scanning the left breast there was some blood on the machine which had come from my nipple. Somewhere deep in my memory was a warning sign that bloody discharge was a warning sign for Breast Cancer. I felt sick and faint and asked if there was anything else that could have caused it. When I was asked to have two biopsies there and then I knew it was serious. The children were both wonderful but the eldest had managed to read a handful of leaflets about Breast Cancer which proved difficult over the coming days. I had a core biopsy in the lump which was very painful and a fine needle biopsy in one of the lymph nodes under my arm. When I went back to the consultant he prepared me for the worst. I then had ten days to wait for the results.

I phoned a friend who met me and the girls at home. Husband was in a meeting and was still blissfully unaware of the morning's events. She arrived and showered me with kisses and cuddles - I spoke to her about the appointments and she helped me order my thoughts. She then gently prepared me for a change in diet. Along with my sister, she has become my dietitian, teaching me about seeds and nuts and reading all the information I hadn't had time to read. My sister's partner has lost his sister to Breast Cancer. he was devastated by my news but immediately got in touch with his cousin in Australia who is succesfully fighting hers with an alkaline diet. With thier advice and help I have stopped eating red meat, dairy, sugar, salt and processed foods. I am eating lots of fruit and vegetables, fish, nuts and seeds. I feel so healthy!

The waiting was very difficult. I couldn't concentrate on aything. I took the kids to my Granny's in Exmouth and from there they went to my Sister's. I kept myself busy formulating a new plan B. The house had already been rented out and Husband's work had agreed to a remote-work-based-reduced-hours contract for us to take to Thailand. Would we try and cancel the tenants at the last minute, re-enrol the children in school and try to deal with this form the comfort of our lovely home or would we try to move?

My breast was very sore after the biopsy. I went on the internet once to see if this was normal and freaked myself out so much with all the differing advice and information that I swore never to do that again. My sister came home with the kids and stayed for the last few days leading up to my results, people came and went and I smiled on the outside. Friends came over and we had a lovely evening in the garden sitting around the fire. I took deep breaths whenever I felt sick or like I might cry. My Husband isn't a fan of criers so I've had plenty of practice!