Sixty
Three
On
August bank Holiday whilst the rest of the world was enjoying
carnival, we moved house. We were helped along the way by our
magnificent support gang. We didn't actually sleep in the house till
Tuesday night when we brought the girls back for the first time. They
were both nervous and still upset about moving but the minute they
walked through the door they both felt at home. The relief was
obvious and very welcome.
The next few days were spent unpacking the kitchen and bathroom, finding the bare essentials and camping wherever there was a space in the boxes. The house had been looked after by the tenants but they had lots of children and the house is old. There was an enormous amount of 'wear and tear'. We decided to decorate before unpacking (a decision I wouldn't have made in hindsight and have lived to regret a thousand times over!)
On Wednesday 28th I went back to hospital to have my arm measured again. It was carrying a 4% increase in fluid since the scan a month before. This isn't great news but it's not terrible either. I will have it measured again at the end of September and hope it hasn't swollen any more. It hurts every day. Some more than others depending on how much I have used it.
The children were due to start back at school on Wednesday 4th. Daughter 2 still didn't have a place. On Tuesday we went out with her God-Mother for a day at the South Bank and whilst we were there I spoke to Lewisham Education Authority and was told I could take her into School. Amazing news - we were all overjoyed.
Unfortunately she went into a different class to the one she had been in for the two previous years. There are three classes per year group and she didn't know any of the children in this new class. This was compounded by the fact that the teacher was new and also didn't know any of the children. Daughter 2 cried every day for the first two weeks. She played with all her friends at play time then had to leave them for class. She has finally settled in and made some new friends.
Whilst this upset was happening at school, the children were sleeping on the landing at home! We attacked both of their bedrooms at once and sanded the floor in the loft at the same time. Dad stayed too and slept on the sitting room floor amongst the boxes. Husband and I camped down wherever we saw space. With Dad and I working through the day and Husband chipping in whenever work allowed we have finally now all got a bedroom (except Dad who is still on the sitting room floor!).
On Sunday 8th we returned to Kent and took all our unwanted things out of Mother-in-Laws shed and carted them off to the boot fair. I loved the whole experience! We sold a fair amount of stuff and made about £100 which can go straight to B&Q. I was kept on a tight leash and not allowed to buy anything. I managed to sneak a £2 leather handbag with matching purse and a 50p cocktail dress from French Connection. Seriously, boot fairs are where it's at!
On Monday 9th I had my quarterly echo heart scan. I still haven't had the results but the radiographer confirmed the lazy valve and saw a slight thickening in one chamber. I am yet to find out whether that has anything to do with the chest pains. Tuesday 10th and I was back at Guys for my Herceptin, the three weeks seems to come round so quickly at the moment.
Wednesday and Thursday were taken up with welcome meetings at the school and more filling and painting. Lovely friend and I escaped to East Dulwich for lunch and attacked the health food shop with gusto. I have missed all of this. Her, lunch, East Dulwich and the health food shop. It was warming and I really appreciated something that I may have taken for granted before all this happened.
On Friday 13th (I should have known to stay in bed) I went off to St Thomas's Hospital for my first of a three Friday course. It's run by the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre in Bristol and is called 'Living Well'. I was really excited about it and have heard only really good things about the centre. They do amazing work.
Unfortunately it wasn't for me. I arrived a couple of minutes late having run from the school drop-off and charged through the underground. As I arrived, the group were setting up 'ground rules' and they agreed that the first one was time keeping! So it didn't really start well for me. We then went into the introductions. I was the youngest by far and had (apart from one man who was in a pretty bad way) probably the least positive prognosis. Everyone there was so gloomy about their experience that I wanted to shake them. They had basically given up.
I was grouped off with my two next-to's and left in that group all day. I may be generalising enormously but didn't actually get a chance to speak to anyone else on the course. I feel like I am emotionally so far beyond anyone there that it brought me down, and then trod on me. I left feeling low, sad and slightly desperate. Let alone bitterly disappointed. I also missed lunch which as you know is not my favourite thing to do. I took a call from my Husband and was out of the room for about 10 minutes. When I returned there was NOTHING left! No-one had even thought to save me a sandwich.
I haven't been back.
On Monday 16th I had a totally different experience at The Haven. It is a centre for supporting people who have or have had breast cancer. It's in a beautiful old churchy building in Putney. I felt welcome and at home the minute I walked in. I had a wonderful consultation with a lovely lady for an hour where she helped me decide how best to use their services. I will be having some counselling, some aromatherapy massage and some Medical lymphatic drainage. On top of that they have a huge range of groups that I can't wait to get involved in. Plus on Tuesdays they have amazing people come in to make lunch!
The rest of the week was spent registering with a GP, having a nurse check me over, having my first GP appointment for ages, spending £1300 on having the car fixed (the old banger never cost me any money to fix!), painting, and more painting!
On Friday 20th I went off on my own to the opera. My Dad's Girlfriend who works there had sent him up with a ticket for me. It was the final rehersal for Elekra. I spent the first 20 minutes trying not to fall asleep - this was in no way a reflection on the performance, I was just exhausted and it was warm and dark and no-one was aking me to do anything. About half way through people started killing each other and the drama had me gripped till the end. When it was all over I had to stifle sobs of relief for the singers/actors. Luckily I managed - God knows how I'd stop if I really started to cry.
On Saturday morning we finished painting daughter 2's bedroom. Moved all the furniture out of the middle of the room into the hall and the carpet fitter came. I painted red nail varnish over the white paint on my nails, washed my hair and donned a mask. We were throwing a 60th birthday party for Mum in Kent. She was 60 in December when I was in the middle of my chemo and she decided to put it off to a happier time.
I wasn't the only one in a mask, everyone wore one and the effect was great fun. There were a perfect mix of people and the music was cheesey enough to keep me on the dancefloor for nearly 5 hours. The terrible mood I started the day with lifted and we all had a really lovely time.
The next few days were spent unpacking the kitchen and bathroom, finding the bare essentials and camping wherever there was a space in the boxes. The house had been looked after by the tenants but they had lots of children and the house is old. There was an enormous amount of 'wear and tear'. We decided to decorate before unpacking (a decision I wouldn't have made in hindsight and have lived to regret a thousand times over!)
On Wednesday 28th I went back to hospital to have my arm measured again. It was carrying a 4% increase in fluid since the scan a month before. This isn't great news but it's not terrible either. I will have it measured again at the end of September and hope it hasn't swollen any more. It hurts every day. Some more than others depending on how much I have used it.
The children were due to start back at school on Wednesday 4th. Daughter 2 still didn't have a place. On Tuesday we went out with her God-Mother for a day at the South Bank and whilst we were there I spoke to Lewisham Education Authority and was told I could take her into School. Amazing news - we were all overjoyed.
Unfortunately she went into a different class to the one she had been in for the two previous years. There are three classes per year group and she didn't know any of the children in this new class. This was compounded by the fact that the teacher was new and also didn't know any of the children. Daughter 2 cried every day for the first two weeks. She played with all her friends at play time then had to leave them for class. She has finally settled in and made some new friends.
Whilst this upset was happening at school, the children were sleeping on the landing at home! We attacked both of their bedrooms at once and sanded the floor in the loft at the same time. Dad stayed too and slept on the sitting room floor amongst the boxes. Husband and I camped down wherever we saw space. With Dad and I working through the day and Husband chipping in whenever work allowed we have finally now all got a bedroom (except Dad who is still on the sitting room floor!).
On Sunday 8th we returned to Kent and took all our unwanted things out of Mother-in-Laws shed and carted them off to the boot fair. I loved the whole experience! We sold a fair amount of stuff and made about £100 which can go straight to B&Q. I was kept on a tight leash and not allowed to buy anything. I managed to sneak a £2 leather handbag with matching purse and a 50p cocktail dress from French Connection. Seriously, boot fairs are where it's at!
On Monday 9th I had my quarterly echo heart scan. I still haven't had the results but the radiographer confirmed the lazy valve and saw a slight thickening in one chamber. I am yet to find out whether that has anything to do with the chest pains. Tuesday 10th and I was back at Guys for my Herceptin, the three weeks seems to come round so quickly at the moment.
Wednesday and Thursday were taken up with welcome meetings at the school and more filling and painting. Lovely friend and I escaped to East Dulwich for lunch and attacked the health food shop with gusto. I have missed all of this. Her, lunch, East Dulwich and the health food shop. It was warming and I really appreciated something that I may have taken for granted before all this happened.
On Friday 13th (I should have known to stay in bed) I went off to St Thomas's Hospital for my first of a three Friday course. It's run by the Penny Brohn Cancer Centre in Bristol and is called 'Living Well'. I was really excited about it and have heard only really good things about the centre. They do amazing work.
Unfortunately it wasn't for me. I arrived a couple of minutes late having run from the school drop-off and charged through the underground. As I arrived, the group were setting up 'ground rules' and they agreed that the first one was time keeping! So it didn't really start well for me. We then went into the introductions. I was the youngest by far and had (apart from one man who was in a pretty bad way) probably the least positive prognosis. Everyone there was so gloomy about their experience that I wanted to shake them. They had basically given up.
I was grouped off with my two next-to's and left in that group all day. I may be generalising enormously but didn't actually get a chance to speak to anyone else on the course. I feel like I am emotionally so far beyond anyone there that it brought me down, and then trod on me. I left feeling low, sad and slightly desperate. Let alone bitterly disappointed. I also missed lunch which as you know is not my favourite thing to do. I took a call from my Husband and was out of the room for about 10 minutes. When I returned there was NOTHING left! No-one had even thought to save me a sandwich.
I haven't been back.
On Monday 16th I had a totally different experience at The Haven. It is a centre for supporting people who have or have had breast cancer. It's in a beautiful old churchy building in Putney. I felt welcome and at home the minute I walked in. I had a wonderful consultation with a lovely lady for an hour where she helped me decide how best to use their services. I will be having some counselling, some aromatherapy massage and some Medical lymphatic drainage. On top of that they have a huge range of groups that I can't wait to get involved in. Plus on Tuesdays they have amazing people come in to make lunch!
The rest of the week was spent registering with a GP, having a nurse check me over, having my first GP appointment for ages, spending £1300 on having the car fixed (the old banger never cost me any money to fix!), painting, and more painting!
On Friday 20th I went off on my own to the opera. My Dad's Girlfriend who works there had sent him up with a ticket for me. It was the final rehersal for Elekra. I spent the first 20 minutes trying not to fall asleep - this was in no way a reflection on the performance, I was just exhausted and it was warm and dark and no-one was aking me to do anything. About half way through people started killing each other and the drama had me gripped till the end. When it was all over I had to stifle sobs of relief for the singers/actors. Luckily I managed - God knows how I'd stop if I really started to cry.
On Saturday morning we finished painting daughter 2's bedroom. Moved all the furniture out of the middle of the room into the hall and the carpet fitter came. I painted red nail varnish over the white paint on my nails, washed my hair and donned a mask. We were throwing a 60th birthday party for Mum in Kent. She was 60 in December when I was in the middle of my chemo and she decided to put it off to a happier time.
I wasn't the only one in a mask, everyone wore one and the effect was great fun. There were a perfect mix of people and the music was cheesey enough to keep me on the dancefloor for nearly 5 hours. The terrible mood I started the day with lifted and we all had a really lovely time.
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