Sunday, 28 October 2012
Twenty Seven
So, my name was called and I went
and sat on my designated Lazy Boy chair. I am on a treatment plan
called FEC-T
(I've linked some info if you're interested) The whole thing took
about 5 hours. I wore the cold
cap throughout which is a strange scull cap designed
to freeze your hair follicles. It looks a bit like something you'd
buy in a Camden techno/fetish shop. I had to wet my hair first so
that it freezes properly. It was a bit uncomfortable but mainly due
to the fit, the cold wasn't too bad. The idea being that if your hair
follicles are frozen they 're less likely to absorb the drugs and you
may keep your hair. Worth a try.
The more unpleasant bit was the administration of the first of 3 drugs. It has to go first as it is very harsh on the vein. The nurse injects it slowly mixing it with a saline solution. I needed 2 litres of saline to get it in and it still hurt like hell. The next two drugs didn't feel as bad. Amazing Husband read his book and I chatted to a man who had had his memory cut out. People came and went, in various stages of wellness. Finally when it was over I felt fine.
It was supper time when we left and I'd been advised to try and eat something while I felt OK so we went for a salad at Pizza Express by the station. By the end of supper I was feeling pretty woozy. The train ride home was horrible. I can only liken it to when you are very drunk and convinced you are going to be sick. I counted down the minutes and, at Sevenoaks, when the train emptied a bit I positioned myself by the toilets.
We popped in to Mother-in-law's on the drive home from the station to kiss the children who were tucked up in their bedroom there for the night. We rushed home as I was feeling worse. Mother had cleaned the house from top to bottom and left an alkaline veg stew on the stove which we separated into Tupperware for the fridge and freezer. By this stage the nausea was coming in waves. By 10pm I was vomiting fairly violently and Husband was on the phone to the hospital. The Oncologists-on-call offer enormous support. They talked him through which drugs to administer from the bag we had been sent home with and by 1am I had passed out.
I can't remember Thursday at all. I know I hardly ate, hardly slept, hardly woke. I felt constantly on the verge of being sick, my back and legs hurt, my head ached.
Friday was only marginally better. My eyesight was rubbish and I couldn't even follow Top Gear on the telly. Mum came over and helped me stretch my back out. The kids came home from school and went out for a half term celebration dinner with Husband. My Dad came over and played me The Rolling Stones. A love we have shared beyond my lifetime. One of my earliest memories is sitting on the side in the kitchen, at a small cottage on the edge of an airstrip where we lived in Cornwall for a short time (winter '78/'79 I'm guessing so I would have been two or three). Listening to 'Some Girls' so loud that I had to cover my ears with my hands (but would complain bitterly if he turned it down.) If you replace the lyric 'Beast of Burden' with 'Easter Bunny' you can hear it through my baby ears. Still my favourite album of all time. This is a love I have tried to pass to my children, daughter 2 got to hear them in concert when I was 8 months pregnant. Anyway, I digress!
Friday night was tough for different reasons. My half asleepness brought unwelcome visions and nightmare images. I can't yet write them down as it still feels pretty horrid but I'm sure I'll go back at some stage for therapies sake.
Yesterday morning stared the same, nausea, exhaustion etc. I made it downstairs for the burial of our beloved Mr Fish who passed away over the last few days. Daughter 2 is devastated and said a wonderful grave-side piece about what a valued member of the family he had been. Daughter 1 amused me by admitting that she didn't really care about Mr Fish dying, like she didn't really care about me being ill. She knows I'm going to get better. Gotta love her thick skin. Mr Fish has a little grave under the rose bush with his 'no fishing' sign as a head stone.
The girls went off with Wonderful Mother-in-law for their half term treat. A day at Port Lympe Zoo followed by a couple of days by the sea. Husband went for a bike ride and Mum came over. She helped me order some supplements online and amused me with her shiny mood. Amusing me further when she called hours later to tell me she had my house phone in her handbag but couldn't find the Lemon meringue mousse anywhere, could I please check the phone charger?!
The more unpleasant bit was the administration of the first of 3 drugs. It has to go first as it is very harsh on the vein. The nurse injects it slowly mixing it with a saline solution. I needed 2 litres of saline to get it in and it still hurt like hell. The next two drugs didn't feel as bad. Amazing Husband read his book and I chatted to a man who had had his memory cut out. People came and went, in various stages of wellness. Finally when it was over I felt fine.
It was supper time when we left and I'd been advised to try and eat something while I felt OK so we went for a salad at Pizza Express by the station. By the end of supper I was feeling pretty woozy. The train ride home was horrible. I can only liken it to when you are very drunk and convinced you are going to be sick. I counted down the minutes and, at Sevenoaks, when the train emptied a bit I positioned myself by the toilets.
We popped in to Mother-in-law's on the drive home from the station to kiss the children who were tucked up in their bedroom there for the night. We rushed home as I was feeling worse. Mother had cleaned the house from top to bottom and left an alkaline veg stew on the stove which we separated into Tupperware for the fridge and freezer. By this stage the nausea was coming in waves. By 10pm I was vomiting fairly violently and Husband was on the phone to the hospital. The Oncologists-on-call offer enormous support. They talked him through which drugs to administer from the bag we had been sent home with and by 1am I had passed out.
I can't remember Thursday at all. I know I hardly ate, hardly slept, hardly woke. I felt constantly on the verge of being sick, my back and legs hurt, my head ached.
Friday was only marginally better. My eyesight was rubbish and I couldn't even follow Top Gear on the telly. Mum came over and helped me stretch my back out. The kids came home from school and went out for a half term celebration dinner with Husband. My Dad came over and played me The Rolling Stones. A love we have shared beyond my lifetime. One of my earliest memories is sitting on the side in the kitchen, at a small cottage on the edge of an airstrip where we lived in Cornwall for a short time (winter '78/'79 I'm guessing so I would have been two or three). Listening to 'Some Girls' so loud that I had to cover my ears with my hands (but would complain bitterly if he turned it down.) If you replace the lyric 'Beast of Burden' with 'Easter Bunny' you can hear it through my baby ears. Still my favourite album of all time. This is a love I have tried to pass to my children, daughter 2 got to hear them in concert when I was 8 months pregnant. Anyway, I digress!
Friday night was tough for different reasons. My half asleepness brought unwelcome visions and nightmare images. I can't yet write them down as it still feels pretty horrid but I'm sure I'll go back at some stage for therapies sake.
Yesterday morning stared the same, nausea, exhaustion etc. I made it downstairs for the burial of our beloved Mr Fish who passed away over the last few days. Daughter 2 is devastated and said a wonderful grave-side piece about what a valued member of the family he had been. Daughter 1 amused me by admitting that she didn't really care about Mr Fish dying, like she didn't really care about me being ill. She knows I'm going to get better. Gotta love her thick skin. Mr Fish has a little grave under the rose bush with his 'no fishing' sign as a head stone.
The girls went off with Wonderful Mother-in-law for their half term treat. A day at Port Lympe Zoo followed by a couple of days by the sea. Husband went for a bike ride and Mum came over. She helped me order some supplements online and amused me with her shiny mood. Amusing me further when she called hours later to tell me she had my house phone in her handbag but couldn't find the Lemon meringue mousse anywhere, could I please check the phone charger?!
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