Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Twenty Eight
I am getting used to all the attention.
It occurred to me this afternoon, while sitting in the house on my
own for the first time in weeks, that life is going to be very
different when I'm better. This sounds like an 'oh it's going to be
an anticlimax' thing which obviously it's not. But I am going to have
to find something else vaguely interesting to write about so I can
revel in volume of pageviews.
I've heard from many survivors that life is different afterwards and I can already see that mine will be. My Husband joked that I'm a much nicer person since I got ill - I think he's right. Perspective is a wonderful thing and there's nothing like a life threatening illness to give you oodles of it. I will eat differently and feed the kids differently, that much is already clear. I will also take more risks, be nicer to people, have more good clean fun, listen more and after having such wonderful feedback on my writing I will try to have more confidence to get on with things.
The first few days after the chemo are a blur. I said I couldn't do four and a half months of that and luckily I don't think I'll have to. On Saturday my Curly Friend appeared, she has a habit of doing that. She's never more than 20 minutes away. We used to joke about it when we were young and she could get from one point in London to any other in less than 20 minutes. We don't joke about it anymore, it's just the way she is. She brought me a brilliant, huge fluffy jumper from Topshop with two rabbits on the front to keep me warm and spent the afternoon sorting through my box of photos from 1995-2005. She cheered me up so much that I finally got up. We watched Saturday night TV while Husband went out on the Raz (takes on a more sedate meaning in Royal Tunbridge Wells but he did manage to see the Palma Violets and rock in tiddly).
At 10pm my Sister arrived from Cornwall, alone (as in, without my Nephew who is usually glued to her side). We had a lovely time. We even went to bed too late which I regretted when I woke up at 5.30am on Sunday with absolutely no hope of getting back to sleep. The children were still away so we lazed around until Husband took Curly to the train station. I got up and felt much more 'normal' - this is becoming more relative but I felt like a 'normal' person with flu.
Sister and I put on our wellies and pottered up the road for a few hundred yards. A small victory but it felt huge at the time. I spent the whole day feeling overjoyed that I was feeling a bit better. If I get the odd day like that then It'll all be ok. Later in the afternoon, after Mum had returned the phone and some friends had popped in for tea, My Sister got a call from Cornwall. Nephew was in hospital with breathing problems. He has had a bit of a chest infection and spent the night in about a week ago and was all but better. The cold weather had sparked off a virus induced asthma attack. My Sister got back in her car less than 24 hours after arriving and drove all the way back to Cornwall. He is home and much better now I'm pleased to say.
On Monday I got up and made Husband breakfast in bed. Got dressed and pretended all was well. We had a (very) short walk across the fields. The children returned laden with gifts from Husband's cousins in Hythe and brimming with excited stories about swimming at hotels, adventure playgrounds and new babies. We snuggled up in front of the telly and watched Mamma Mia.
Tuesday (yesterday) I got up with the kids, made pancakes, got dressed and felt really great. We met a Gorgeous pregnant friend and her small daughter in Sevenoaks and went for a little walk at Knole Park. This is the friend who cuddled an kissed me better after my biopsy appointment and then became on of my honorary dietitians - I think we'll call her Yoga Friend. She gave me 8 veg and chickpea bakes that she had made, we ate one for supper and it was delicious. I slept well last night and annoyingly woke up feeling rubbish again today. I've been in or on the bed most of the day while my family got all excited about Halloween. The kids are going to London for a sleepover and Husband is going to a friend's Birthday party. For now I'm alone in the house. But never fear, My Mums coming over later so we can make spells.
I've heard from many survivors that life is different afterwards and I can already see that mine will be. My Husband joked that I'm a much nicer person since I got ill - I think he's right. Perspective is a wonderful thing and there's nothing like a life threatening illness to give you oodles of it. I will eat differently and feed the kids differently, that much is already clear. I will also take more risks, be nicer to people, have more good clean fun, listen more and after having such wonderful feedback on my writing I will try to have more confidence to get on with things.
The first few days after the chemo are a blur. I said I couldn't do four and a half months of that and luckily I don't think I'll have to. On Saturday my Curly Friend appeared, she has a habit of doing that. She's never more than 20 minutes away. We used to joke about it when we were young and she could get from one point in London to any other in less than 20 minutes. We don't joke about it anymore, it's just the way she is. She brought me a brilliant, huge fluffy jumper from Topshop with two rabbits on the front to keep me warm and spent the afternoon sorting through my box of photos from 1995-2005. She cheered me up so much that I finally got up. We watched Saturday night TV while Husband went out on the Raz (takes on a more sedate meaning in Royal Tunbridge Wells but he did manage to see the Palma Violets and rock in tiddly).
At 10pm my Sister arrived from Cornwall, alone (as in, without my Nephew who is usually glued to her side). We had a lovely time. We even went to bed too late which I regretted when I woke up at 5.30am on Sunday with absolutely no hope of getting back to sleep. The children were still away so we lazed around until Husband took Curly to the train station. I got up and felt much more 'normal' - this is becoming more relative but I felt like a 'normal' person with flu.
Sister and I put on our wellies and pottered up the road for a few hundred yards. A small victory but it felt huge at the time. I spent the whole day feeling overjoyed that I was feeling a bit better. If I get the odd day like that then It'll all be ok. Later in the afternoon, after Mum had returned the phone and some friends had popped in for tea, My Sister got a call from Cornwall. Nephew was in hospital with breathing problems. He has had a bit of a chest infection and spent the night in about a week ago and was all but better. The cold weather had sparked off a virus induced asthma attack. My Sister got back in her car less than 24 hours after arriving and drove all the way back to Cornwall. He is home and much better now I'm pleased to say.
On Monday I got up and made Husband breakfast in bed. Got dressed and pretended all was well. We had a (very) short walk across the fields. The children returned laden with gifts from Husband's cousins in Hythe and brimming with excited stories about swimming at hotels, adventure playgrounds and new babies. We snuggled up in front of the telly and watched Mamma Mia.
Tuesday (yesterday) I got up with the kids, made pancakes, got dressed and felt really great. We met a Gorgeous pregnant friend and her small daughter in Sevenoaks and went for a little walk at Knole Park. This is the friend who cuddled an kissed me better after my biopsy appointment and then became on of my honorary dietitians - I think we'll call her Yoga Friend. She gave me 8 veg and chickpea bakes that she had made, we ate one for supper and it was delicious. I slept well last night and annoyingly woke up feeling rubbish again today. I've been in or on the bed most of the day while my family got all excited about Halloween. The kids are going to London for a sleepover and Husband is going to a friend's Birthday party. For now I'm alone in the house. But never fear, My Mums coming over later so we can make spells.
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