Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Twenty Two
When I was a very little girl, my
parents were involved with a young theatre company in Cornwall. It
was (and still is) called Footsbarn. When I was two my Sister was
born and we left the theatre company. Our family (me, her, them)
lived in and around Devon and Cornwall for the next 6 years. Me and
her went to primary school and did normal things. Then one day when I
was 8 my Dad came home from a trip and told us we were moving out of
our cottage into a bus and rejoining the theatre. By this time the
Footies had left the UK and become an international travelling
theatre company.
I consider myself very lucky that the friends I made as a child will always be my friends, because of the way we grew up - so close, almost like extended siblings we will always be linked. 4 years ago yesterday we lost one of us to breast cancer. She was a sweet, kind and fun child who grew into a wonderful, strong Mother of three. Since she died she has actually become family to me. Her oldest Brother is now the Love of my Sister and the Father of my Nephew.
I had a lovely day yesterday with my old friend/new Brother. We went for a long walk and collected feathers in his sister's memory. I was really touched to be able to have that special day with him. We also scrumped some apples (I'm told that now we are grown-ups it's called foraging). We used an iphone ap to identify mushrooms and decided we didn't trust any of them. My Dad and his small yappy dog came with us. I hoped that the long walk would ensure a good night's sleep.
When Husband and I turned in, my brain stepped it up a gear. I have been avoiding facing up to thinking about what last week's results really meant and the questions started flooding in. Husband agreed to help me do some censored (by him) Internet research into bone lesions/foci. We found out that these are just other names for tumours. That secondary breast cancer can often appear first in the bones, the most likely place for it to show up being spine, hips and top of legs. We read a few more worrying facts and became quite upset.
After a long cuddle and a deep chat we decided on positive action to help us relax. We finally started to read a bit more about the importance of alkaline levels in fighting cancer. The research and results are fascinating and I was reassured that I have been leaning towards a fairly alkaline diet anyway. This has been helped by friends who are supplying me with special water from their machine. When we got up this morning I checked my ph levels and was thrilled that I have indeed managed to shift them by a few points.
I set about the housework and tried not to worry about my bones, knowing that the scan results were going in front of the Oncology Board either yesterday or today for a conclusion. The postman arrived with a package containing a crochet blanket, a really thoughtful present accompanied by a sweet letter. I was reduced to tears in the kitchen and the intense emotions from the last 24hours came flooding out. My poor Old friend/new Brother chose this moment to come down for breakfast and gave me a big hug.
I spoke to my nurse this afternoon and she told me that the Board are confident that there is no cancer in my bones. I may have a further MRI scan but it would only be to confirm what they feel they already know. This really does feel like good news. I'm going in tomorrow for the Heart scan and showing the surgeon my redness which hasn't really changed. I feel like I'm ready now for the chemo and looking forward to learning more about the alkaline diet and being in a position to implement it fully into my day to day life. I'm not taking any chances.
I consider myself very lucky that the friends I made as a child will always be my friends, because of the way we grew up - so close, almost like extended siblings we will always be linked. 4 years ago yesterday we lost one of us to breast cancer. She was a sweet, kind and fun child who grew into a wonderful, strong Mother of three. Since she died she has actually become family to me. Her oldest Brother is now the Love of my Sister and the Father of my Nephew.
I had a lovely day yesterday with my old friend/new Brother. We went for a long walk and collected feathers in his sister's memory. I was really touched to be able to have that special day with him. We also scrumped some apples (I'm told that now we are grown-ups it's called foraging). We used an iphone ap to identify mushrooms and decided we didn't trust any of them. My Dad and his small yappy dog came with us. I hoped that the long walk would ensure a good night's sleep.
When Husband and I turned in, my brain stepped it up a gear. I have been avoiding facing up to thinking about what last week's results really meant and the questions started flooding in. Husband agreed to help me do some censored (by him) Internet research into bone lesions/foci. We found out that these are just other names for tumours. That secondary breast cancer can often appear first in the bones, the most likely place for it to show up being spine, hips and top of legs. We read a few more worrying facts and became quite upset.
After a long cuddle and a deep chat we decided on positive action to help us relax. We finally started to read a bit more about the importance of alkaline levels in fighting cancer. The research and results are fascinating and I was reassured that I have been leaning towards a fairly alkaline diet anyway. This has been helped by friends who are supplying me with special water from their machine. When we got up this morning I checked my ph levels and was thrilled that I have indeed managed to shift them by a few points.
I set about the housework and tried not to worry about my bones, knowing that the scan results were going in front of the Oncology Board either yesterday or today for a conclusion. The postman arrived with a package containing a crochet blanket, a really thoughtful present accompanied by a sweet letter. I was reduced to tears in the kitchen and the intense emotions from the last 24hours came flooding out. My poor Old friend/new Brother chose this moment to come down for breakfast and gave me a big hug.
I spoke to my nurse this afternoon and she told me that the Board are confident that there is no cancer in my bones. I may have a further MRI scan but it would only be to confirm what they feel they already know. This really does feel like good news. I'm going in tomorrow for the Heart scan and showing the surgeon my redness which hasn't really changed. I feel like I'm ready now for the chemo and looking forward to learning more about the alkaline diet and being in a position to implement it fully into my day to day life. I'm not taking any chances.
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